Confessions about 'Hate'

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i have told my mum if I die before her what i want done, I have considered euthanizing my cats with me because i don't want the burden of worrying about them being homeless quite frankly, I don't want to worry about these things and in many ways i am glad i have never married and had kids to all the losers that crossed my path who acted like absolute freaking rude groping pigs, which is something I detest. i accept my illnesses but I don't want to talk about them. I want to find a remedy or cure for them. I want to surpas them and get better and stronger and healthier again and if I found the right man to marry I believe I could do just that. I wish I knew why I was so ignored when I was younger ? and groped at and manhandled like some animal when I did nothing to encourage men to kick and bash me or for women to attack me or both men and women to sexually assault me. I am sick of doctors and everyone minimilizing my needs and issues for their own cruel over billowing mindless capers. i used to respect doctors and feel safe with them, trust them but I have had a few do some weird things to me, like one physician when I was teen looked into my pants and we just prevely discussed my periods at that point i was getting spotting and mild bleeding between periods during ovulation that was not really pleasant like last month i had 2 periods in 1 month plus a weeks bleeding after the vaginal surgery and stitches. i mean its all been a waste really. life has been a waste to me when it shouldn't have been.

i have told my mum if I die before her what i want done, I have considered euthanizing my cats with ...

Hate

I wish that stupid fool rapist idiot would stop stalking me its been like over years or stalking, other idiot abusive terrorist type stalkers during 2000-2009 and I am just sick of them. i don't understand what is wrong with people anymore. i think people have lost common cutosey and manners, the more I have been terrorized and stalked by the ruthlessness and hardcore evil cruelty of some people has made me question why people are so sadistic over the past 25 or more years. people throughing things at me and being bashed and attacked many times, men attacking in stupid crude and rude ways that I never encouraged that behavior pushing me against walls and other things i think some people are just gross. its made me a bitter angry victimized person. years ago doctors used to be nice and act like they were being of service to you and ask "how can I help you, don't suffer in silence tell me if your worried or have questions, the pleasure is mine" and it should be you get well paid for it anyway but at least they were politer, like one doctor even rang me at home and insisted to talk to me and explain my cardiology report to me, they won't now days, now they act rudely like "how dare you bother me"

I wish that stupid fool rapist idiot would stop stalking me its been like over years or stalking, ot...

Hate

oh gosh these cluster migraines have been frightful tonight

Hate

painful heart over death of one you love!

Hate

the random website hacker stalker is at it again. police are watching and I am sick of this pathetic sicko.

the random website hacker stalker is at it again. police are watching and I am sick of this pathetic...

Abuse, Hate

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Hate

it has been so hard for me to give up new friends who started abusing me, but I just won't compromise on respect anymore.

it has been so hard for me to give up new friends who started abusing me, but I just won't compromis...

Hate

that was not an invitation to you to steal anything of mine on line thanks.

Hate

wheenever my mother left the room my older sister deliberately would tip over my baskinet I would be sitting in or pinch or hit me, this went on for years and years or she would get me into trouble if I retaliated, rose always reminded me of nelly elson in little house on the prarie. she was bitchy abnoxious, hatefulled and mocking and would put on pretence and later giggle and "nanananaaa" at me if she got me into trouble. she never wanted me as a sister and told me so, she screamed at me "I hate you I never wanted to be related to you from the day you were born!" and she refuses to allow me to talk about any guys I like. I dont understand it. she has her filipeno husband she has been married 3 times and I have never been married never had a baby and loves showing off everything about her son.

wheenever my mother left the room my older sister deliberately would tip over my baskinet I would be...

Hate

feeling so ill with neck migraine I went on a few activities today that were nice but gee I am sore.

Hate

I am tired I am overworked

Hate

THE THINK IT THE PERSON WHO STOLE MY CHARACTER AND FANTASY STORIES I GET ANGRY, LIKE JEAPODY IS MY CHARACTER I FEEL ATTACHED TO HER I MADE HER LOOK REAL IN MY STORY OUTLINES AND I GET ANGRY WHEN PEOPLE FUCK ME AROUND.

THE THINK IT THE PERSON WHO STOLE MY CHARACTER AND FANTASY STORIES I GET ANGRY, LIKE JEAPODY IS MY C...

Hate

cold pressure therapy on shoulders

Hate

i am sick of my therapist implying statements that i used to hear my relatives say at or about the drunken epileptic old war pedo like "what you need to do is take a photo of them in your yard" etc, it feels like they are implying i am like him when i am not at all, this man put his hands down my underwear everyday of the week for years and i have never done that to any child, and then to imply that i am lying about my injuries from the accident i had. i mean some tasks i can do like i have been able to hold the garden shears and cut a few branches or twigs but not for long before it hurts my back, but i would say making the bed or even tasks as basic as getting dressed putting on underwear is painful especially applying more weight on one leg then the other and i don't appreciate the intrusion of people questioning what other specialists have adviced to me. this is not a funny comparison and certainly not a fair or qualified comparison. i don't appreciate the insult at all black eyed scums.

i am sick of my therapist implying statements that i used to hear my relatives say at or about the d...

Abuse, Hate

mindset and words we don't want to hear.

Hate

good lord, the fan exploded! it must have hit the shiza!

Hate

I paid for a chocolate class for 2 and this woman who runs the class was making out I got the wrong day, she had no phone number on her webpage and I emailed her to confirm booking and gave her my phone number and email then she was making out I didn't give her a phone number and she had no way to email me and then she up and changed the date and didn't tell me and still has not got back to me, the woman is a nutter, so to be polite I said "well, out of politeness I will take the blame for the time muck up but I thought we did set it in the day and I double checked and you didn't call me, but sorry if it is my fault because I have been very depressed since vaginal surgery and skin treatments and the plumbing emergency" and she still has not got back to me. I knew she would blame me for it you can't fight with these foreigner arab italian latino types they think we are white english/irish australian trash idiots, and I am sure she said the time and date I wrote down in my diary. I feel like I am being abused by this woman. something does not add up in a business that doesn't have a phone number and all she does is rent out commerical kitchen when she would be better running it from her home or the better place that is not surrounded with construction everywhere.

I paid for a chocolate class for 2 and this woman who runs the class was making out I got the wrong ...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

i am sick of parcels going missing

Hate

i don't know why i go looking up degrees and diplomas and nursing or health because i know i don't have to confidnece to bother. 1- i am too old 2- i can't cope and i can't understand the strict demands of accreditation courses in australia in health they are all too hard which is why i dropped out of a dental course because it seemed just too complicated trying to get 100% pass rate in everything and not much teacher help or classroom time. i don't understand the marking system at tafe for certficates and diplomas and i don't want the stress of a degree and worrying about how to afford it all and cope with exams, when i have already done a degree and inbetween one anyway just in arts which is the lowests iq level you can get into cuz all the other courses are just plan too hard for dumbos like me. i don't want to pay back course debts later when i have been on disability and really just need to have a holiday and find a relationship then over trialing myself over rubbish like health and morbid courses that will only add to depress and a deep sense of failure i already have at dropping out of a business degree and so on. i dropped out of university at 24 after being assaulted wanting to find a realationship and get married but no one was interested. everytime i have tried to pass a degree someone fucks it up on me and others fuck up my plans for relationships. either way i am just not ment to win at life. no job, no money, no honey! aint no loving caring heart here! I hate this world.

i don't know why i go looking up degrees and diplomas and nursing or health because i know i don't h...

Abuse, Hate

I need help in finding a new life- job, relationships, lifestyle which is why I want to move away, I feel I outgrew this place a long time ago. when I wanted to moveon others were not allowing me the access to the things I needed to progress, abuse is neglect, social exclusion as punishment on women just because they don't like dirty smelly fat useless rapeo ugly married men around them who have nothing to offer someone like me at the time and more so now, has less to offer someone like me, so sarina russo needs to man-up to the abuse s/he has done. I seen her abuse people and she should be abused back for how she attacked and abused a lot of people how she ruined careers she needs to learn her lessons.

I need help in finding a new life- job, relationships, lifestyle which is why I want to move away, I...

Hate