Confessions about 'Hate'

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you did not provide for me, you did not bring suitable men to me , you failed me. you let me down. you wronged me. you judged me and labelled me so I am doing it back. you tried to kill me even. now you have to be accountable for what you have done!

you did not provide for me, you did not bring suitable men to me , you failed me. you let me down. y...

Hate

my parents and people who attacked me like katy and abusive verbal violent people like joyce taught me self control over load!!!!! how to control the will at every cost even love and certain sexual gratification. my parents never approved of someone as useless as ken because he could not provide what I needed. who is responsible for that! I want that person punished. I will teach you harsh punishment don't you worry about that. what you give you get that violence and damaged will back!

my parents and people who attacked me like katy and abusive verbal violent people like joyce taught ...

Hate

you don't know what it feels like to nearly die, and how it feels to have your brain arterial sinuses blood viens that go to the heart etc go all crazy. its a nightmere. i don't ever want to go through it ever again. its terrifying.

you don't know what it feels like to nearly die, and how it feels to have your brain arterial sinuse...

Hate

we received all these death threats in the mail with all these big photocopy a4 in a number of colours with weird pen markings and grim reapers and beware of this and that, and photographs of places i had been for interviews in oct 2000 it had me spooked and when i went to tell that stupid rapist he didn't want me talking about it. it had a lot of hate in it with graveyards and like it waas some very disgruntled editor of some newspaper, joyce took over and contacted this place that had the RPK intials all over it some printing company and if she had really cared she should have told her police husband and got proper help for me and listened.

we received all these death threats in the mail with all these big photocopy a4 in a number of colou...

Pride, Hate

all he talks about is the imao shit over his hand cleaning up after himself.

Hate

die joyce die. die isabelle die. die bitchy liars die!

Hate

you are a dog isabelle. fuck off and die whore. I hope you die!

Hate

as a child I had a lot of re-occuring dreams about spacecraft and russian space wheels regularly, either being on them or seeing them in the sky, dreams of water and tidal waves started when I was about 19. now I get them the first thing I think of is my water levels cuz i feel this headache like a iv flush thing.

as a child I had a lot of re-occuring dreams about spacecraft and russian space wheels regularly, ei...

Hate

oh I had that bad dream again I am on this hawaiian island and I look out and its a beautiful beach area then lava comes bumbling up red and storms and tidal wave alert I hate this dream, I have been dreaming this for a few years now

oh I had that bad dream again I am on this hawaiian island and I look out and its a beautiful beach ...

Hate

right this is my father- he hits the scotch and he has a rubbish bin obsession today I wanted to throw some rubbish out and he goes "no i am not throwing rubbish in the bin I just washed it out and its clean now" sorry I am fucking confused! then I got into trouble because I cut an orange on a plate that had just been washed and dried. just cuz I cut the orange peel? fucking hell is he freakin nuts... this obsession for the bin to immaculate like as if the rubbish collection people are like "wow, those people at bla bla street, wow do they have a really clean bin that smells like christmas bells and berries and their recycle bin is so nicely sorted" seriously this obsession has to fff well stop. he holds the rubbish boxes of jatz or tins have to be perfect he hugs the rubbish like they are babies. its not freakin normal. this is not normal.

right this is my father- he hits the scotch and he has a rubbish bin obsession today I wanted to thr...

Pride, Hate

so I said goodbye to hans and fabian, I really liked hans a lot, well I liked them both they had very strong german accents. but we had a office party and I drank too much and near pasted out on the way home, this asian guy drove me home and I could barely walk and like maria was like have some more drink, and I kept saying, 'no I really can't I have had enough I am starting to really get dizzy now" she is like "no no us germans know how to drink" well they did drink more then me, but hans was pretty cute that night, or maybe it was just that I had drank so much but didn't want to. I am not big on office parties that is literally the first and only office party I have been to, when I worked for a doctor he took us out to dinner and I just don't drink anymore. i found it was making me feel ill in the stomach too much. I liked port but don't drink that. I still have a full bottle of shrminoff gold leaf cinnamon and a full bottle of absynthe and i want to try it cuz I have never tasted it. i don't drink much - like i have had a fluffy duck once and a cosmopolitian once, a martini once, a mostly drank tia maria breeze with cranberry https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpHfgDDK9cc my version is in a tall glass less alcohol more cranberry and mint or baileys on ice or just vodka mudslides with milk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JR2ZJ1cGxyw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HkH1glleNs it just sounds nice because its made of fennel seeds but it might be a let down? I still have champaign in the fridge that has been there for about 4 years I never touch the dam stuff.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVlYfKv4we0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGJd-ZQK4os . I am not an expert on cocktails. I tried to make them only once and that was it didn't like it and won't touch the rubbish now, I am strictly iced herb tea or floral waters. the best wine I had was with a twist of apple and cuccumber flavor and one with honey ages ago.

so I said goodbye to hans and fabian, I really liked hans a lot, well I liked them both they had ver...

Pride, Hate

leo and rose are fighting and then it causes fights in the house.

Hate

l am sick of people with all this daddy/daughter and mommy/son incest rubbish, its Freudian social taboo left over from childhood, the soap operas ran with story lines it for years and it was considered soft porn, only shadey sadie could stoop so low. she writes constant rubbish, I would have thought that witch was publicly executed ages ago she is so witchy annoying. that is what they do over their as a sign of affection for god sake.

l am sick of people with all this daddy/daughter and mommy/son incest rubbish, its Freudian social t...

Pride, Hate

my argument is if I am so healthy and this is all in my mind, then how come we have this distress everytime I have to have blood tests with collapsing veins and I cry when they say we can't get any blood out? why? I have to lay down and I choose the more experienced blood takers and I won't have new vacum tubes at all they are too harsh on my veins. I can handle injections and local anasethic and surgery over blood tests I can handle I just got sick and tired of ambulance people jabbing me with canulas and blood sugar tests and heart monitors, and dam doctors. I have a lump at the moment I can feel I want to talk to the doctor about, sometimes I have had lumps come up under the arm pits in the lympth area and this one is in anoter area and feels like that needle that went in last surgery. I hate the whole thing. why am I bothering to even study rubbish I will never use anyway?

my argument is if I am so healthy and this is all in my mind, then how come we have this distress ev...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

I am sick of this daddy daughter and mommy kiddy boy sex trip people go on with on here, its a worn out boring story of rubbish. Freudian socialisation and sexual garbage. what is wrong with people. grow up.

I am sick of this daddy daughter and mommy kiddy boy sex trip people go on with on here, its a worn ...

Abuse, Hate

fuckk off churches. you have let me down too many times and I am more saintly then all of you. I know this to be true. and this crap about jesus sucking up to the prostitutes is all bullshit. yeh he just made a slave of her to wash his bloody feet and never did a thing else so what does that mean? he was a user like everyone and did he pay her for the job? he didn't betrove himself to her. I am sick of being treated less and like some whore prostitute druggy is more important then me and my illnesses I didn't make the car accident happen but someone else who does witchcraft did!

fuckk off churches. you have let me down too many times and I am more saintly then all of you. I kno...

Pride, Hate

I have a crush on a married business man who is swiss and he has kids and a wife and its just a stupid crush right. its typical of me to get crushes on men and his wife is very beautiful but he is about my age. lovely classic voice and very handsome attractive man in euro-design and very rich. he doesn't even know I exist.

I have a crush on a married business man who is swiss and he has kids and a wife and its just a stup...

Abuse, Hate

I would never be good enough for any man, I doubt any mans mother would see me worthy of their son and i really don't know what you have to do today? it seems women like drug addicts and rich career women and they don't care about the genuinely ill or injured or abuse issues. I have learnt to live with this discrimination and abuse from women. that is why my doctor told me to get rid of anna-maria cuz she and bob and a group of people ruined things for me at the beauty college and I paid out $400 for uniforms and I don't care I filed a complaint of discrimination and abuse from that college. I should have done that with kelly college as well.

I would never be good enough for any man, I doubt any mans mother would see me worthy of their son a...

Abuse, Hate

i wish i could find love but i have given up and just hate the world really. i don't know what love or fun is. i am worn out from being abused by asshole rich people and black fuckholes and losers like ken, katy and more. I mean I am sick of them all and hope they all die in some ship somewhere.

i wish i could find love but i have given up and just hate the world really. i don't know what love ...

Abuse, Hate

like I met that black dude who is a doctor from the bachelor and I was so sick I didn't care. he came to my house as a locum house doctor and I mean I was too sick to care who it was another night they couldn't wake me due to the heavy sedation of medications from the neurological problem with the infection and mum and the dr just decided to let me sleep but he checked my medications and spoke to my mum about my condition and I didn't even know. I just remember crawling around the floor at midnight near choking from the medications and I was thought i was patting the cat and it was a cushion and I know someone must have came in and moved my note book because I kept a log book for all the months i was sick writing all the medications and how I felt and how much fluid I drank etc.

like I met that black dude who is a doctor from the bachelor and I was so sick I didn't care. he cam...

Pride, Hate