Confessions about 'Hate'

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i was on a lot of antibiotics like sulfur ones that work slow and effect blood cells and cause more white blood cells then I was put on other stronger 3 x forte multi type 2nd or 3rd generation ones and having 3 lots at a time sometimes after the car accident and infections that were painful. i was tired a lot. panic disorder and just heart and chest pain a lot, between 2005-2015 i had about 5 MRI's on my brain and Ct scans. when I hit my head in the car accident and then I hit myself over the head when I failed law school. I ment business to people but they were not listening! and that is a warning to all of you! don't mess with me!

i was on a lot of antibiotics like sulfur ones that work slow and effect blood cells and cause more ...

Love, Hate

i am thinking about heading off to bed early tonight fuck trick or treaters, if people want to see me they have to come to the door and ask for me in person I am not into all that costume non-sense. its not that I mind giving treats to kids but I never got to do any fun things like that as a child or teen and I think its sending a bad message to children anyway. if one or two turn up from up the road i might bother but otherwise i am not keeping an open door that is for sure. I have been studying most of the day and I will be tonight and I might be going out tomorrow so I haven't got time to worry about halloween and these awful abusive neighbors upsetting me abusing our family and the way they pick on me. I don't like courtney and donna and I don't have to like them my parents and sister don't like them either. we don't believe in forgive and forget!

i am thinking about heading off to bed early tonight fuck trick or treaters, if people want to see m...

Abuse, Hate

men wonder why I lose interested but they can go ask their bitchy female friends why who are abusive to me. and if most men stopped acting like clowns and grow up cuz I have a low threashold for people being stupid more so now.

men wonder why I lose interested but they can go ask their bitchy female friends why who are abusive...

Hate

some professionals and work people and in social groups have a professional blind conception about policy of integrity of staff and workplace. there is no point someone saying lies like "oh this is the best place to work in" "this is the best company etc or dept" when everyone from top down is off the beat. its lies, its not going to make it so just because you pretend its great. then you try to make others look bad or liars and then it all falls back at the person who was making out it was so great when it all falls down and is not working great just because one person said it is great when its not. be truthful don't live the lie or nothing gets improved. one day you will be on your ass and learn it the hard way. like i have heard so many bad reports from good people about our local hospital and all i can say is its cleaner and newer but not that nice but then no hospital is, and all this loser drug addict can do is rave on about how good the staff are and yet one of my poshy friends who was a classy lady and was well associated in our city she was treated badly there and so was I and others and my friend had way more class and money and she was blonde and beautiful as well . how come some deadbeat loser bum druggy whore dirtbag can say "oh they are so nice and great in there" like was she just trying to piss me off or hurt me or make out they prefer her type over me and my friend who have more class and are not drug addicts. just because one deadbeat loser druggy prostitute says its great doesn't make it so! a loser with other losers and yeh i find that offensive to abuse obvious classy women and help a loser deadbeat creepy whore. don't subject me to that dog karma again. or i will call police. I hate karma anyway, she is an annoying slut.

some professionals and work people and in social groups have a professional blind conception about p...

Pride, Hate

everything is a waste of time where your concern queen bitch.

Abuse, Hate

fuck off pop stars fuck off actors. fuck off. fuck off. fuck off.

Abuse, Hate

mongrel royals fuck off. you have abused me too far. fuck off black fuckers. fuck off doctors. fuck off fuck off fuck off.

mongrel royals fuck off. you have abused me too far. fuck off black fuckers. fuck off doctors. fuck ...

Abuse, Hate

you are a waste of my time if you don't do or say what i want to hear when i want to hear it or do it. make up your mind. your abusing me queen bitch! i am sick of you speaking in my mothers tongue fuck off bitch. your so evil and abusive towards me all my life. stop abusing me you old cow whore. fuck off. fuck your own kids and grandsons and stop messing around with me.

you are a waste of my time if you don't do or say what i want to hear when i want to hear it or do i...

Hate

die queen bitch die, I hate you die bitch die queen bitch die!

Hate

it just feels like my heart is being flooded or a shower, I just try to breath through this. the doctors always say everything is ok. but I wish they could monitor it when its happening. its frightening

it just feels like my heart is being flooded or a shower, I just try to breath through this. the doc...

Hate

i hate gmail it is set up so badly, I don't know how to organise files its stupid

Hate

i hate gmail it is set up so badly, I don't know how to organise files its stupid

Hate

i hate gmail it is set up so badly, I don't know how to organise files its stupid

Hate

well your lucky to have something as wonderful as that special goldfish of yours, yeh lucky you have your goldfish that means you don't need anything else out of life lynn. that is what people say to me about my parents as if I shouldn't want romantic love at all. so I just go along with it. i mean what do my feelings matter anyway? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Ro9zceqqJY i am just looking for clues all the time and I am not really the type to give people the benefit of the doubt.

well your lucky to have something as wonderful as that special goldfish of yours, yeh lucky you hav...

Murder, Hate

i felt guilty for a long time thinking "why am I not like all the other students at law school or health who can drink heavy and party heavy and I can't do that? they get laid and skite all the time about how many guys or chicks they had and I have only had sex like less then a handfull times all said and done and i am 45. why do I need to be so honorable, so right, so perfectly righteous to the point i will tolerate not being loved or liked by many? why do I walk away from most men and give up on them and move on to another new one that excites me and I am just bored of their bitches around them and think "well i might not have a husband but i have justice and a legalistic mind to know when to tell someone off and when to just let go" i still haven't found 1 man worth all the effort. and being raped by ken was not nice, but i faced worst things. i mean love is a waste of time I told a lot of therapist that. it never works out so why should it now. when it never did when it really mattered the most.

i felt guilty for a long time thinking "why am I not like all the other students at law school or he...

Love, Hate

I spent a lot of time feeling guilt about being a surviver of child sexual abuse who had gained a lot at university and that was like a painful depression started breaking me down as if I had no right to be successful or loved as a victim or survivor of illness or child sexual trauma so I felt I had to punish myself and I met all the wrong people who messed me up just because of this guilt that my life should be worse like all the drug addicts and smokers and alcoholics and so on, just because I had none of those addiction issues as if I was apologising for some how having a survival mechanism in me of how I personally coped with the abuse, my illnesses and then my studying began to suffer I would get way out vomitting episodes to the point now I hate vomiting I will do anything not to vomit. and the fear I had come over me with iv in me and the things this patient was saying I could hear what he was saying was upsetting me. I have had my ups and downs and I am sick of people bullying me. believe me i have bloody well had my downs way too many of them.

I spent a lot of time feeling guilt about being a surviver of child sexual abuse who had gained a lo...

Pride, Hate

you see this is how it happened. I some how must have left a note somewhere around the nazi ww2 and criminologist and png witchdoctor who knew all the medicine men aboriginal drugs we mixed wtih- told the witchdoctor when I was a child that I was in love with someone - don't ever do this ! ever!!!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYgOlqinH7A https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bESGLojNYSo

you see this is how it happened. I some how must have left a note somewhere around the nazi ww2 and ...

Pride, Hate

I don't want to know about anything to do with death and illness or hospitals. I can't bare the sight of those prisons and just don't trust the people in them either. your only as safe as the quality of doctor or nurse on duty at the time which is mostly pathetic in a lot of hospitals and I just don't want to know about anything to with all that. its not scene. I like the fun party life and can't stand the morbidity of studying health at all.

I don't want to know about anything to do with death and illness or hospitals. I can't bare the sigh...

Hate

I bought nice furniture to be placed how this house never met our needs, the real estate guy who sold us this house was a druggy who took my grandfather down and then the builders who put the grannyflat on the house took my grandfather down, so that in turn took me down as well, I worked out it would be best but because dad will not stop hoarding junk and I need things to be where I planned for them to go or its just we move to a bigger place or I leave and let them put up with the mess they seem to want to live in. I wanted to be married and have my own family and own house by now, just because grandpa won half million in lottto over 27 years ago has meant to people that I deserved nothing, no career, no husband and kids, no life, no education, nothing! so now I do it back to other people with sprong mongrel kids! if you have been married and had a kid you won the lotto and don't need anything else in life !

I bought nice furniture to be placed how this house never met our needs, the real estate guy who sol...

Hate

when I was thin and attractive me and another woman who was younger then me and she was way more classy in a political assistants job had a serious bitch about how much we hated the old lammington just for the hell of it, she goes I find him chauvo and a dickhead, and I said "yeh me too" just add something but it was like I just enjoy bitching for the sake of saying I hate some one because I am so hated so I might as well hate heaps of people behind there back as well.

when I was thin and attractive me and another woman who was younger then me and she was way more cla...

Hate