Confessions about 'Pride'

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I don�t know what to do or say as we stand looking at each other, he ultimately takes a few paces towards me

I don�t know what to do or say as we stand looking at each other, he ultimately takes a few paces to...

Pride

i used to look through all the avon books and ask the avon lady to order in one of the male models for me. then I started wanting to adopt all the kids in the books as well. I used to pretend they were my own children. wondering what they would look like. then I found jenny at the campus and wanted her son and I used to imagine he was really my child and she was the surigette of my son back in 2002. I considered being a surigate to a family who could not have children and signed up for it even but haven't heard a thing. I considered having a one night stand but that isn't me. never done that ever and never could unless he was a model and seriously hot looking. I went out with a male model who was a pilot on a few occasions, he was a levi's guy model in the 1980s heap of uselessness crying poor and in debt to a song of like 1 million and throwing off at me for not working so I got rid of him because he was an asshole. I met a hot gay male model when I was working in a 5 star hotel in the butlers dept. they all loved me there cuz i was so keen to work then I got friends with another gay 5 star matradee, and a gay radio guy I don't talk to many of them now. but I do have a friend who knows how to get cheap tickets into places and holidays she said she will always help me out with that. she is a great friend to me. the only real nice person towards me.

i used to look through all the avon books and ask the avon lady to order in one of the male models f...

Pride

brigette and bugsy were definately on as a couple and I don't know if louise ever knew. I knew brigette was on with heaps of guys, there were that many of them. she would just flick you off when she had a boyfriend and then expect you to be all over her fussing after her after months of rejection while she was off, well you know with a few. that was why I didn't go to her 21st birthday, it was always on her terms only friendship and you know when your being used for her to get to other guys like bugsy around me and my cousin. and I went all weird when she took me around on a graveyard crawl we must have gone to a few grave yards over a few weekends when i was 13 and I felt the presence of a spirit or ghost around me, bugsy came back with vicky and didn't say who they were. I was sick, of course! what else! of course I had to be sick when ever a man was around so nothing would happen, so the spirit/ghost would have its way. I want to know about this ghost. this dam thing. I was having nightmares after the graveyards all the weekends and horror films and I experienced something ghostly that freaked me out then. that was 1986 or so. I went all weird cuz I couldn't sleep and my sister and her boyfriend would kick me out of bedrooms all the time so I never knew where I was going to sleep in the lounge floor watching music video clips alone.

brigette and bugsy were definately on as a couple and I don't know if louise ever knew. I knew brige...

Pride

sometimes I just want a bit of professional privacy to talk to my doctor alone! there is nothing to be read into it, its just he knows how to fix my illness best when I am like this. He knows what I mean all too well. just don't turn it into something its not yet. I don't want to be embarrassed.

sometimes I just want a bit of professional privacy to talk to my doctor alone! there is nothing to ...

Pride

my mum worked in management in the telephone exchange and she was sexually assaulted as was other women by men to get their pay cheques in the 1950s. my mum was only 15 and she had to walk past men who would put their hands up the girls dresses and mum was a manager for a number of telephone exchanges in qld. my dad worked in radio and newspaper writing and teaching and a few other things and he was sexually abused by women at parties wanting to measure the guys penises with rulers and dad copped a lot of shit from one woman he worked for always saying he was shoving the duster up her dress and he never did that sort of thing at all. these people in radio place put a heap of things in his office bin with pentihose and ky gel and a list of sexual things and that is apart from the football admin time certain persons laced his drinks with vodka and he was found unconscious on the office floor. and people treat me like I am the stupid one like I can't do a fucking job or get married. well I am sick of the abuse. I was molested from the age of 4 or 5 and younger by some older kids, but 4 or 5 by my great uncle til I was 15 and I got very sick and I am sick of people treating me like I deserved to be abused like that as a child. its disgusting. plan disgusting!

my mum worked in management in the telephone exchange and she was sexually assaulted as was other wo...

Pride

i know what i feel is selfish stupid horrible unnecessary but it hurts a lot it hurts i hate it i wish i could go out with other men and meet new friends and talk more to new people so i would stop hurting already all i feel is hurt i feel like i want to buy a new place i hate it

i know what i feel is selfish stupid horrible unnecessary but it hurts a lot it hurts i hate it i wi...

Pride, Blasphemy

I don't ask for much but to be allowed to do my courses and study and go to the gym and to be left alone. I just want everyone to go away and I think all the time of idiots in relationships "thank god its not me being bashed over a guy ever again, let me out I can't breath" that is all i asked of the world. I don't want to know about others problems unless they pay me to listen and they won't want my advice cuz I would tell them they are straight out logic ! you can pay me as you leave !

I don't ask for much but to be allowed to do my courses and study and go to the gym and to be left a...

Pride, Hate

i sleep on a bed full of cat chuck, piss and shit. i sit in bed all day everyday.

Pride, Murder, Abuse, Hate, Violence

what i have seen and learnt in the last few years is that most doctors are poking in the dark with wands and haven't a clue of what they are doing. I can't believe I used to look up to most of them. and since I learned just a small bit of real things my eyes were closed to before, I can actually see why my grandmother as a nurse turned to alcohol, cuz she would have known how she would die seeing so many deaths on the job and things i have studied has made me see things very differently, not getting the career I wanted and the position of influence and family life i wanted and when that couple from the catholics came around and told me i should be grateful to be alone without love for all these years compared to stupid married whores who are abused. like that really insulted me, cuz things could be worse for any flucker. things could be worse for my neighbors if they fell off their balcony too, things can always be worse than what they are. things could be worse for any flucker even them. and i got up them for the way the st.vinnies whore spoke to me on the phone when i was worried about how i was going to pay bills and never enough money lately and cats sick and no oven or stove and then the solar pannel converter broke we just don't have a spare $2,000 to fix it. and the dog was almost begging me to take their dirty catholic money to eaze their dirty guilty consciences and i thought about it and said NO. you insult me enough slukts. and the old bagger st vinnies got rude to me saying "I can't help you, you left it too late to worry about a family and kids and career now at 45" and that was when I seen red and wrote to the catholic church and told them I am sick of their insults and rudeness and behavior against the teachings we were taught in catholic ethos. and then I told them were to go pluck off! cuz years ago the church got off its shonky gambled black market marfia assholes and helped good people get jobs. today they don't give a fluck. they only care about married people in their church who are the church holy rollers. and you will pay for that status. they are violent and like a support group person said to me, "we were abused mentally and emotionally in the catholic faith for the times of the 60s, 70s and 80s for being white average class girls. everything was poor flucking niggars. and kiss a niggars poor fluckng ass. and the guilt trips they threw on us kids over everything and anything they could. we were not allowed to flaunt we were forced into silence and modesty as catholic white girls and they didn't care about our educations and futures. to be told by some jumped up old catholic whore bitchdog that i should be grateful to have no one and no job offended me. I am insulted. that shows what bastardization that church is about. they want us to be alone and shut down for the niggar. they are trying to break down the white man, white man religion, white man money, white man ways. it was never the white mans or white womans burden to save their flucking depraved dirty mean ugly niggar souls, cuz they don't have any.

what i have seen and learnt in the last few years is that most doctors are poking in the dark with w...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

i complained at the nigga cafe shop about the lipstick over the spoon. I told them "I want a new spoon, see this, it has lipstick on it, I am not wearing make up I rarely wear make up in summer heat. do you know how dangerious this is, it can cause menigicococil and viruses and bacteria and germs. its very dangerous you should be checking things before handing them to customers" and I am going to write a complaint if i get sick or not. had enough of other peoples sloppy performance when I was working I was sanctioned and told and it doesn't hurt them to sharpen up their act! if I get sick you know who i will be suing don't you. nig cunt whore sluts and nig pig dogs! animals. all of them sexual filthy animals. everything full of germs around me. sick of it. germs germs germs. I hate germs and I hate people.

i complained at the nigga cafe shop about the lipstick over the spoon. I told them "I want a new spo...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

my neighbors have their yards in pigsty's themselves and don't have their gardens looking nice and they still get trashy people over for fuck parties. you can see their not house proud people by any stretch.

my neighbors have their yards in pigsty's themselves and don't have their gardens looking nice and t...

Pride

two women forced to sleep in continual cat pissed mattress https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crXNpF3iwq4 we are two women mother and daughter forced to sleep on one bed full of cat piss. we have no money and no life. to the outside world we look like we have it together but its clear we don't. I don't know how to stop the cat pissing on the bed anymore. I have had enough of trying to fight it. I just hate it. and I am not even married. no job, no husband, no rights. and sick of people calling me a stupid bitch! and I will appear in court to dob any one in. anyone. I would enjoy the opportunity to dob any man or women in !

two women forced to sleep in continual cat pissed mattress https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crXNpF3iw...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

all I can say is thank god its not me! going through what the karen's and other dogass chickdicks out theres with her kids and marriage and humping obsessions probably fucked her fhole out by now. it will need retirement but won't get a retirement but over worked cgrudnthole, that is one human bitch for sure like the celeb royals whorebitchdogs and that stupid wanker with this "here in my garage" videos with his lambogs! and his knowledge!!!! talk about taking these lot as a bunch of human bitches! unlike me !

all I can say is thank god its not me! going through what the karen's and other dogass chickdicks o...

Pride

go to carnidale and sit outside the banks and travel agent for a hour or so and just watch the dwibby whores working, they don't look like they are clever intelligent being with those stupid heels and fake tans and gee they don't look over worked to me. I applied for a job at the travelex money exchange and didn't even get a look in, but I sit outside at least once a month with my mum and we both make fun and throw off at the dogs all working there. they don't look hard worked other then horizontal hard worked to me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGM3h-MwXZ8 I would take them as one human bitch or two for sure.

go to carnidale and sit outside the banks and travel agent for a hour or so and just watch the dwibb...

Pride

can you see now why I avoid having these esoteric deep religious conversations when some dumb bitch comes up to me while I was minding my own busieness about if I think i will go to heaven and then had the audacity to tell me that god punishes even a white lie as the same as evil crimes and for hate to be as equal to murderers? like really? so if I don't go to heaven and if this loser god loves his murderers and arsonists and what ever over me who might tell the odd white lie as to not hurt someones feelings because its socially not graceous to do so, well that god can go fuck himself. god won't want to complain to me about loving murderers and arsonists and prostitutes over humble bumble old miserable stupid fair mindedly honest, and strongly ethical human me! who can't forgive the people who harmed me knowlyingly harmed me having capacity to know their abuse was causing harm which I have dobbed in those churches and doctors and entities of lower morals to police and to other medical bodies as well just to be a extra complete bitch! like isn't it enough that I am so charitiable I have stepped aside and been so so so so giving for other slutty whores with turbo powered cunts who need men and love more then me, I charititably and decently and modestly and politely step aside of these prostitutes and whores and scum women who are the lowest of the low to have a man. its just as giving to step aside for a whoreslut to have a manbeast scumbum man anyway as it is to give time or money to the poor and more needy desperate of the world. but man! am I sick of it. I actually hate women and look down on their sinful ways and laugh at these young so called dumb in love lower beings. and I even admit my attitude to love and jobs is "let me out I can't breathe" ! and I would rather run away and be the one that got away to make the bastards feel guilty and bad as dirty devils and laugh at them. I laugh openly at the younger generations and all they do, their babies and dumb weddings, their simplton degrees and work and their need to keep up with each other, try like i so happened to fall upon or find myself in a typical weekend going to the movies all these dumb whores trying to keep up with each other and do the face-off and shirt fronting sexy mom games and gossip and complain about hubby and kids and car and mortgage. its really amusing to watch these dumb spastic whores at their witchcraft antics. its so bemusing! my mother and i watched and giggled, as we do every time we go to one shopping mall and sit down and throw off at the twitty bird chicks inside at the travel agency and banks and how overworked the poor slutty whores are and the real joke is they really do believe they are sexy and hot in their drag queen high heels and fake eye lashes and creepy bodies and their creepy sleazy couple times. eek, it makes me squirm and giggle so much at them. sometimes I have openly mocked them. like the stupid dumb royals aren't they bemusing fool clowns as my grandma would have said "bunch of faggots".

can you see now why I avoid having these esoteric deep religious conversations when some dumb bitch ...

Pride, Hate

xmas hasn't been enjoyable since 1994 and as a kid only a few xmas were ok the best really were between 1979-1984 and the rest shit, til 1988 til 1995 the rest shit again. when your forced to sleep in a cat urine soaked bed after years of university education and a chuck up old house of spastic parents old molely mildew house without a job or relationship for as long as me, without a family of my own, cuz to me having children and your own babies and a proper husband to enjoy life with is what xmas is about but we live in this new world agenda of the Jesuits and Illuminati and we are forced to live in pigshit. Question: "What does the Bible say about breaking generational curses?" Answer: The Bible mentions “generational curses” in several places (Exodus 20:5; 34:7; Numbers 14:18; Deuteronomy 5:9). God warns that He is “a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me.” It sounds unfair for God to punish children for the sins of their fathers. However, there is more to it than that. The effects of sin are naturally passed down from one generation to the next. When a father has a sinful lifestyle, his children are likely to practice the same sinful lifestyle. Implied in the warning of Exodus 20:5 is the fact that the children will choose to repeat the sins of their fathers. A Jewish Targum specifies that this passage refers to “ungodly fathers” and “rebellious children.” So, it is not unjust for God to punish sin to the third or fourth generation – those generations are committing the same sins their ancestors did. There is a trend in the church today to try to blame every sin and problem on some sort of generational curse. This is not biblical. God’s warning to visit iniquity on future generations is part of the Old Testament Law. A generational curse was a consequence for a specific nation (Israel) for a specific sin (idolatry). The history books of the Old Testament (especially Judges) contain the record of this divine punishment meted out. The cure for a generational curse has always been repentance. When Israel turned from idols to serve the living God, the “curse” was broken and God saved them (Judges 3:9, 15; 1 Samuel 12:10-11). Yes, God promised to visit Israel’s sin upon the third and fourth generations, but in the very next verse He promised that He would show “love to a thousand [generations] of those who love me and keep my commandments” (Exodus 20:6). In other words, God’s grace lasts a thousand times longer than His wrath. For the Christian who is worried about a generational curse, the answer is salvation through Jesus Christ. A Christian is a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). How can a child of God still be under God’s curse (Romans 8:1)? The cure for a “generational curse” is repentance of the sin in question, faith in Christ, and a life consecrated to the Lord (Romans 12:1-2). the bible also says that Deuteronomy 18:10-11New International Version (NIV) 10 Let no one be found among you who sacrifices their son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, 11 or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. When men fight with one another, and the wife of the one draws near to rescue her husband from the hand of him who is beating him, and puts out her hand and seizes him by the private parts, then you shall cut off her hand. Christians eat their own children....Deuteronomy 28:53%u201CThen you shall eat the offspring of your own body, the flesh of your sons and of your daughters whom the LORD your God has given you, during the siege and the distress by which your enemy will oppress you." then there is the lost books and removed gospels who was said to be a disciple and also These three rediscovered gospels are named after Simon Peter, Mary Magdalene, and Judas Iscariot. a number of other gospels which they knew about, but which apparently no longer survive. These include the Gospel of Matthias, the Gospel of Perfection, the Gospel of the Seventy, the Dialogue of the Savior, the Gospel of the Twelve, the Book of the Hebrews, the Gospel of the Nazarenes, the Gospel of Bartholomew, the Secret Gospel of Mark, and the Gospel of Eve. Other gospels may have also existed, but even their names have been lost. see the constant contradictions of the bible!!!! being a person who studied theoretical bullshit at university and dropped out I don't ever claim to be an expert on anything, but university did teach me to question everything, analyse everything which makes me have to consider the god;s check list that scott clifton https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvRPbsXBVBo Attachments area Preview YouTube video God's Checklist 2.0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvRPbsXBVBo God's Checklist 2.0 the point is why did god bother sending me to university if his greater useless plan was to cerfdom me!

xmas hasn't been enjoyable since 1994 and as a kid only a few xmas were ok the best really were betw...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

Can't take it :( I feel frustrated hearing people say "I had a dream that you were doing this" and "This could really be good for you" I just want to scream and say "Will you just mind your own business and back off?!" It sounds selfish and stupid and I know that people are trying to help but I just want to be able to say in the future that "I did something for me and not to please anyone else" Should I say what I feel or just try to live up to the expectations of others?

Can't take it :( I feel frustrated hearing people say "I had a dream that you were doing this" and "...

Pride

john is an asshole, him and darren killed some baby mice and probably cats. john is not this nice person you think he is. he was a complete rude shit growing up and even now, dad says straight out john deserves nothing from their will at all because of the abuse he did on me and rose over the child abuse behind our backs trying to promote others needs over his own sisters needs just because some dirty old fart william and hasbeen got in on the act. dad and mum and I blame them and other family. we blame leigh for getting me raped. she should have known better that spastic woman demanded i go to that party that night when i was ill and on medications and with a liver fluke infection. they caused all this on me deliberately. and I just want them to be forced to publicly admit it and be forced to publicly apologise for their wrongs and trying to kill me and abuse my sister and i. I could abuse all the kids who molested me but what is the point? they were just kids when it happened. but john is the evil one who let the family down under the say so of joyce and karen his wacko wife. and karen poacher has been just as jealous and abusive and a liar. she can not be trusted. she got adam to abuse me and he didn't know the full story of what her father did to me. john has turned to evil i can see he is in for hell. my parents turn their back on him and my parents support me against what ken did. dad wants ken killed. and location just like clothing does not imply a right to rape. I dont know what i was thinking at the time I was being told by rick and katy I had to let people abuse me and that was love. joyce was putting shit in my head and not listening to my needs and the real person inside of me. she would get a shock to face the real me now!

john is an asshole, him and darren killed some baby mice and probably cats. john is not this nice pe...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

i broke out in a hives allergy rash a few times and a skin swelling disorder / rash in 2003 when working in a office from buying 2nd hand clothing at the thrift shops. I used to buy pre-loved clothing as a teen and adult occasionally but got really into it in my late 20s cuz I started my antiques collections of furniture and vintage clothing. I don't always wear my vintage style clothing in fear of being made fun of. but I have some nice old things but I got a skin swelling blistering rash after being exposed to someone who had menigicocal at the private college I was at and I also was exposed to a virus that was leaked at the university campus I was going to as well. I would wake in shaking shivery sweats in my 20s a lot due to this, and then have vomitting bouts out of nowhere usually on first day of period always so I gave up taking painkillers where as I was always on pain killers for period pain from the age 11 til 25 then when i got the hot night sweats I always got them with my periods and all I could do was sleep out the pain for 24 hours. then I got a non-paralysising form of polio that has been painful and slipped discs in the back and neck disc injuries from car accident and I know i should have gone to hospital the night i accidently had the wrong antibiotics that i was allergic to the pain was awful all i could do was sleep it out but looking back i should have gone to hospital then, i have the vomitting time with liver fluke infection, and heaps of blood tests and mri's on my brain and back and legs. they did everything. cardioultrasounds and transvaginal ultrasounds cuz of swollen ovaries and infections and bowel problems and they thought i had a bladder tumor and kidney stones but could not prove anything without key hole surgery. I still get chunching sounds in my neck and ear and around the membrane of my brain that is due from 2nd generation antihistimines one pharmaist told me and the back/brain surgeons wouldn't agree with anything so I am none the wiser. I been exposed to bird flu, swine flu, whooping cough, and this rash from 2011 at fernwood gym from their washers with oils and that I had to take doxy for a long time close to 2 years and I refused to take it after i got really sick one night and vomitted because i accidently drank milk, which you can't drink milk with doxy and I know why it will cramp your stomach and make you vomit badly. so i put up with the rash that they said was allergens or unknown virus (like as if there is such a thing today as a unknown virus/bactrial/fungal infection, I will say no more on that topic!!!!) and to last 3 -4 years in the end i got off doxy and had innerhealth vit k and it fixed most of the rash and it comes back every so often now when I use sunscreen. and the cancer i had to have cut out was all due to the podiatrist i worked for, he was spreading germs everywhere with used gloves. they are supposed to wear 2 sets of gloves for blood procedures in dental and operations or physical body fluids examinations. i am sick of them trying to harm me.

i broke out in a hives allergy rash a few times and a skin swelling disorder / rash in 2003 when wor...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

please stop judging me. stop calling me short, fat, and ugly. you guys say OH WHY DIDN'T YOU LOSE WEIGHT EARLIER IF YOU WANTED LOVE AND WORK? WHY DIDN'T YOU DO THIS OR THAT TO PERFECTION? well as if you were any perfection when you were part of the problem stopping me from blooming! LIKE I SAID AGES ON HERE< THAT SONG FROM ICEHOUSE IS ME MY VERSION OF "MY OBSESSION" IS- MY DEPRESSION < MY DEPRESSION IS YOU, THE GHOST OF YOU THAT GETS ME EVERYTIME, WON'T LET GO TIL IT BRINGS ME DOWN, BLA BLA BLA, MY DEPRESSION IS YOU YEH ITS YOU, "that i never do anything and that i should get my lazy ass up. but every time i try to do something, all i receive is criticism and hurtful comments. why do you guys keep bring my confidence down and crushing my self esteem. it hurts so much that i cant even say anything but cry to myself. you guys never agree to the things a like and just throw me aside. when i try to obedient, you guys say im boring. when i try to be nice you guys tell me to stop being a push over. when i be mean or make one small mistake, i suddenly become the world biggest bitch. what is it that you guys want from me!? what can i ever to do to make you guys satisfied? its hurts. i dont want to do anything anymore. i feel so small and suffocated. your my family and yet i have to prepare myself to face hateful comments whenever i want to do or say something. the fact that i have to prepare myself and knowing that i will get bulllshit makes me feel so so so fucking pathetic. all of you are so different from your actions. you all keep saying that i should be grateful bc you are wasting money to raise me. arent you just saying that im a waste? how can i be fucking grateful when i keep getting hurt from your words!?! does that even make sense?!?! should i say yes thank you so much for wasting your precious money to raise a pathetic human being like me!? NO FUCKING NO I DIDNT ASK FOR THIS. I PUT IN SO MUCH EFFORT TO BE GOOD AND OBEDIENT BUT NONE OF YOU ACKNOWLEDGE ME. NONE OF YOU PRAISE OR COMPLEMENT ME. ALL I GET IS FUCKING BULLSHIT OF WHY ARE YOU SO FAT UGLY, NOTHING ABOUT ME EVER GOOD ENOUGH NO MATTER WHAT I STUDY OR DO OR WHATEVER I BEEN DONE, SO I KEEP A LOT SECRET NOW, ONLY SHOW GLIMPSES OF THE REAL ME TO ANYONE. WHY CANT YOU DO ANYTHING LIKE WORTH TO BOTHER. HOW OLD ARE YOU THAT U CANT EVEN DO SOMETHING THAT EASY. YOUR SO SLOW GROW UP. just stop talking. i dont want to hear it anymore. stooping calling me out when you are doing the same thing. plz just stop talking. i wont be able to take it anymore. just stop already.

please stop judging me. stop calling me short, fat, and ugly. you guys say OH WHY DIDN'T YOU LOSE WE...

Pride