🔥 i4giveu

Confessions about 'Pride'

Page 26 of 73

I have been always lonely. I have never had anyone to love me! Almost every night I cry for my loneliness and bad fate. I wish I have not been born. I have lost all my motivation to live the life! I am just wasting every moment of my life because I don't want this creepy life which I am destined to live! I just want it finished! But I am kind of afraid of death! I want something and someone better ! I want to be better.

I have been always lonely. I have never had anyone to love me! Almost every night I cry for my lonel...

Pride

yesterday was full on and I am tired now from being on shop floor all day working but looking forward to some action tonight and tomorrow night. always fun.

yesterday was full on and I am tired now from being on shop floor all day working but looking forwar...

Pride

I have never been an alcoholic and I told this doctor today who specializes in a therapy I can't talk about but my issues were due to a middle ear infection and I feared the infection spread to my brain after the tentinus injection it got worse. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxCPIfLUGDs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2tqa0Unyeo I was told it was a lack of serotonin and I don't doubt that but I nearly died without ever being a addict of alcohol or drugs of any kind and I don't want to go through it again. this doctor wants to use a venus needle and electrical treatment

I have never been an alcoholic and I told this doctor today who specializes in a therapy I can't ta...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

stop it doctors or I will kill you. I will get bin ladem filipeno murderers who are more evil to kill you all for insulting and abusing me. you got that. i don't have to take your abuse. I am polite and resppectful to doctorss and I EXPECT THAT RESPECT BACK! THE GOVT PAY YOU TO BE RESPECTFUL AND DO THE RIGHT THING IF YOU CAN'T LIVE UP TO THAT YOU WILL GET THE MESSAGE ONLY ONCE AND GONE! YOU UNDERSTAND THAT.

stop it doctors or I will kill you. I will get bin ladem filipeno murderers who are more evil to kil...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

I paid my own evening school so i could achive more in my job, but this school costed to much money, now i got so many bills to pay, i dont know how, my bank account is 3000 euros in debt, its not that much actually, i get 1500 every month, so i could get out of it in like a half year without to much of a sacrifice, but now my paycheck is 2 days late and i got an awfull lot of extra bills because i couldnt pay them in time, its getting more and more, and more and more nervous, and i hate it. Money shouldnt rule my mind, but it does since this fucking school, i hope it was worth it in the end, but i dont think so. i wanna tell this to someone, but i dont know who, i got a new boyfriend but i dont wanna load this on him, i wanna talk to my dad but if its getting worse he will lend me money, and i dont want that, because my 8 years older brother does that everytime they see, i dont want my dad to think of me the same, cause i see this is hurting him, i want him to see me as an adult.

I paid my own evening school so i could achive more in my job, but this school costed to much money,...

Pride

My birthday is tomorrow, and for the first time in my life I'll spend it all alone. My family is 200+ miles away, and my father just told me he is moving to california tomorrow. It is my first year in college and I have social anxiety that stopped me from going out and making friends when everyone else was. Now everybody is cliqued up and I am all alone. The worst part is knowing I still have a semester left in this hellhole. I used to have a 6 pack from varsity sports and be ripped and confident, now I am pudgy and alone.

My birthday is tomorrow, and for the first time in my life I'll spend it all alone. My family is 200...

Pride

i hate my life and my depression is slowly killing me. My job stresses me out and i have to travel far to and from work plus look after my elderly nan. My mum has been diagnosed with a degenerative progressive neurological disease and she is only going to get worse. her health is bad and i need to care for her more and more. I was stressed so i decided to hand my notice in so i can be my mum full time carer and look after nan as well. i thought it was the best plan so i could care for the ones i love and be brave. but now i'm dreading the day i have to leave work i have made a terrible decision i should have carried on struggling with care and work. i'm so scared i'm just going to end up more unhappy with this decision. i am so afraid. i left a good job. i dont like this uncertainty of it all. i'm scared i wish i was not so hasty. this decision was for he good of the famliy but i do not like change. im afraid of regrets i have so many and i dont want this to be one of them.

i hate my life and my depression is slowly killing me. My job stresses me out and i have to travel f...

Pride

I gave up courses also when guys rejected me at university because it was easier then having to see their cunt faces with bullying whore dogs who has either verbally or physically attacked me for them. so i just up and left.

I gave up courses also when guys rejected me at university because it was easier then having to see ...

Pride, Hate

i was never really a upperty rude teen or young adult that is where I went wrong. I should have been a complete mongrel blonde bitch to everyone and been very very very rude, as if I could equal the rudeness people did to me. but one day I might!

i was never really a upperty rude teen or young adult that is where I went wrong. I should have been...

Pride, Hate

to be honest tafe and university it not everything. because doing other learning and documentaries or short courses help build up bit by bit. we used to do 3 or 4, 20hr a week subjects and it didn't help me much. I admit I was lazy and could have studied more but I was depressed a lot because I had never been allowed to deal with the child sexual abuse stuff. what annoys me with virgina and shirley is that they had degrees in social welfare etc but the shit they were saying was upsetting me. firstly. to say kids who are abused who get help earlier in life are no better off is a absolute lie. the quicker you get police and psychological and educational support the better. secondly, to say that because I was abused means I am more likly to be a pedo myself is again another lie, I don't think you know how this made me cry and cry and feel like I was doomed and then others believed your bullshit. then 3rdly to say kids innocently sexually exploring other kids is the same as a pedo was the biggest lie and hurt, because in that case you would have every child of 10 or 14 labeled pedos any kind who had a little girlfriend or boyfriend or in teens because you made out that it doesn't matter if kids are molested at 4 or 14 and I disagree, I didn't have a choice. I was 4 when it started or younger with older kids but about 4 with the pedo, and yet you make out a teen of 16 being molested is equal when I was molested by an old man for 10 years from the age of 4. by 15-16 I stood up to him and had enough and got angry and then I was made to feel like a bad naughty child for getting angry. WELL EXCUSE ME!

to be honest tafe and university it not everything. because doing other learning and documentaries o...

Pride, Hate

I like stuart. I am proud of him.

I like stuart. I am proud of him.

Pride

if you jason is a nice person he isn't, he lies, he has abused fans and then wonders why people see him on drugs or drunk and they gossip about him to to me, so you learn to avoid idiots, right, he would throw water in fans faces one girl had a slurpie like drink and he squeezed it to spurt water over her face and women came up and slapped them. they were rude and crude. you soon learn to avoid shitheads who are fake and rude and I don't even believed his father died - he is probably someone like that patell freak that killed patients - these foreign doctors . I admit jason was often nice to me and I was nice to him but a lot of people told me he would say to some rather inward girls to fuck off, after he invited them for drinks. so I some of these thinks I didn't see first hand I felt fearful he would abuse me after hearing things like when michelle told me he was openly taking drugs and being stupid and pretending to rape some roady. its not what I think is nice. I don't care what others think of me but I just think some people are fakers and gamers.

if you jason is a nice person he isn't, he lies, he has abused fans and then wonders why people see ...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

I have always been able to pick up old fart men, old women, stray animals and wild animals, kids, retarted people or even foreigners who can't speak a word of english, like one day this foreign woman came running up to me screaming for some sort of help and she couldn't speak a word of english. and I felt so awful I tried to help? but confused how to. one day a autistic woman came screaming around the neighborhood looking for Bear, he had got out and she was screaming "oh no Bear, Bear is out what am I going to do help, I will get into trouble" like over and over for about 30 mins and I came out to see what the problem was so she came over to me and it took a while for me to calm her down she was so convinced she would be punished by her family over it, she was well into her 30s with obvious disorder, weird men will come up to me, one old weird european man used to hang out his window and call out to me when I was going to the train to go to college or university, "want a cup of tea or coffee" and shaking his cup and I was saying "No I can't I have to catch a train for schoolwork, you know study and writting things down and reading" he didn't get it. anyway, i have dont know what is is aboutme, my mum says its because I don't look intimidating and I have a calming gentle repose about me, one of my bosses said that too, I couldn't see it in me. because if only they knew what I was thinking. the other day a guy with autism and intellectual disorder wanting shake my hand and I didn't even know who he was. other people have done this to me as well. when I was working foriegn men would follow me around the hotel while I was trying to clean, they couldn't speak a bloody word of english. and then working in medical reception all these severely intellectually disability patients, and people would say, "oh you cope well with them" but to be honest they frighten me.

I have always been able to pick up old fart men, old women, stray animals and wild animals, kids, re...

Pride, Hate

I am sad all the time about my life and I feel embarrassed about my resume and work history and the waste of time university study and why I was never good enough for anything, I feel like I cant have a relationship or baby til I have a job, rick said that is how life is and he is American so it has to be right, so I was told there was no point looking for love or romance or having babies with a job, not that a job helped much anyway and what pitiful efforts that I was doing paralegal/justice diploma and law degree and dropped out after being raped and had a strong I have studied a lot of short courses in health and lots of things and find study online so lonely and I feel my future is depressing with not much hope for skills, employment and relationships without a job your a nobody. I was bullied at Sarina Russo Job access and she made me fat not allowing me to study for 10 years or work or stick to my diet and exercise my back surgeon and psychiatrist wanted me to and she wouldn't allow me to do what I wanted to do. we had no choice she made me go on DEN before I even had a physical illness and would reject doctors advice letters and override them making my life so shut down without marriage, love, romance, fun, social life or income for over a decade that woman abused me like an insane ferret. Now I am 45 no husband no babies and my current doctors have said this has had a psychological hurt for me that these people didn't help me enough and what they did was evil. I left wellington pt family practice due to their laziness and getting my medical records mixed up with another person and their incompetence in treating my child sexual abuse issues and rape and stroke, all round very negligent lazy pathetic doctors there but for Dr Hill, Dr Greenbury and Dr Sarath. not impressed by RSL girl in a million quest and navy for allowing ken carey from hms melville to rape me and would like someone to sue them on my behalf to help me so far no law firm will help no parliamentary minister will help, not even the royal commission into child sexual abuse in institutions will help me and its so frustrating. my father went through the exact same thing being abused and thrown on the job and relationship scrap heap when he was 45 I was thrown there at 25.

I am sad all the time about my life and I feel embarrassed about my resume and work history and the ...

Pride, Hate

I have screwed around all day doing things at the last minute. cooking and cleaning took the kids up to have a swim at the local pools and back. but all I did was dangle my foot in and talk to the guard who was boring.

I have screwed around all day doing things at the last minute. cooking and cleaning took the kids up...

Pride, Hate

we cheated on each other so much and regret is a vile creature. Never leave any regrets in your life. They eat you alive over time. twenty years ago I was 18 and met a guy and we got married after dating 4 months. But he was cheater and liar. I left him soon after we got married. But I have regretted it ever since but he was he is and I knew I deserved better. Its been years and I still could never love him after he had an affair with my sister and a few of her friends and I got photos of their gang bang sent to my facebook page I felt a complete fool infront of all our friends later. But before I left him I messed my life up bad with gambling and my job ment I had to do fifo stays before it was the in thing to do. I did a lot of dumb things during my pregnancies that would be toxic to any relationship. He told me he still loved me last year but I turned him down because he was drunk and back to his old tricks doing porn in vans that made me sick, number 1 he had a too short a dick that was boring to me, number 2 he lazy and never bothered to improve himself or our mix of friends other then the loosers at the pub and soccor clubs. My mistakes would ruin his life? but then his would sure ruin mine. I want him to be snappy even its w/o me. I have a current bf but in my heart, I don't love him. He knows this though, he tries to help me move forward and has a stable job which makes me more stable and I don't see the kids anyway now they are at boarding school which was the best thing no matter how much I resisted it and we argued over custody but boarding school won out and worked out best now we only see them alternate holidays. I try to get over my ex husband cheating me but I can't. Its a real contradiction that we fouled on each other. Now all that is left is regret and it is destroying my sanity but I have a new life and chance. and no more kids.

we cheated on each other so much and regret is a vile creature. Never leave any regrets in your life...

Adultery, Pride, Marriage

heathers advice caused me a lot of problems telling me to spend every afternoon pleasuring myself, all through my 20s, 30s and most of my 40s, as if that queer ugly had such grand advice for what she was doing was like I was on parole with her at russos and none of it made sense. I didn't want to see her and everytime I did have to or have to go to russo I would pretend I was someone else to hide the pain, the dread of going there and always being told your never good enough for 10 years really mentally effected me. I was not allowed a boyfriend, or to work because they got money to keep me on their books, so it all sounds strange. but so immoral and isn't about time someone other then me paid. like I really think these assholes should be punished, the sad thing is everywhere, for years everyone knows that the bad people and the bullies are winning in this world for the last 17 or 25 years it's the bullies who have won over the abused. I wish I had the guts to be a bully and bitch and I wish someone would help me be a winner. anyway, I think heathers advice was dumb, she gave me no choice because I was not even allowed a massage while seeing her, I was not allowed new clothes, or perfume or outings my life was around russos and her for 5 years and russos 5 years before that. we were to look for 20 plus jobs a week and show them the sheets of jobs and phone numbers we had contacted, we were not allowed relationships or dates out, we were not allowed sex or marriage or babies, I can't work out how russos were allowed to get away with this. why this crazy spastic ugly butchy dog old witch bitch was allowed to pick and choose who she bullied and she bullied a lot of people there. the woman is a nutcase. she should be locked up in a padded cell or something. crazed mad woman from hell. some imported greazy slag from lebinon that should be up on human rights abuse charges. when will it happen?

heathers advice caused me a lot of problems telling me to spend every afternoon pleasuring myself, a...

Pride, Hate

I want to take out a nice girl somewhere but don't know how to tell her, uh what should I say?

I want to take out a nice girl somewhere but don't know how to tell her, uh what should I say?

Pride

my exercising is part of my job at the gym I work at I have time to workout, and I have not time for lunch its on the go, and I have dinner early then go back to the gym til late but my clients love me.

my exercising is part of my job at the gym I work at I have time to workout, and I have not time for...

Pride

to be honest the guys I like I am afraid of them and hardly dare look at them or make eye contact with them, or talk to them etc. I feel so embarrassed I just avoid them a great deal because ? in case they don't like me. the fantasy is better then the rejection or ignoring they do. even when I was thin and young they would ignore me and be weird even the nicer ones who were working in law firms I had worked in, they were non-committal and vague and deliberately distant.

to be honest the guys I like I am afraid of them and hardly dare look at them or make eye contact wi...

Pride, Hate