Confessions about 'Pride'

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Grab your sweetheart and escape to C&** C**Y^resorts a tranquil holiday experience of indulgance! En...

Pride, Abuse

i can't think about death, I won't listen to talk about people dead on tv and I just walk away. I can't cope with it. people can't cope and help me so I can't help and cope with others. its as simple as that. spent all my life being there as a strength for others mind always alert to emergency health issues and all my mother can do is hell at me ever since the car accident I complain about chest pain. she yells and gets angry at me or she will sleep sound as a baby - its happy its got her daughters life fucked up and messed up don't worry, I wake in pain and she doesn't want to know about it. I am a burden to her with my health and pain and she attacks me for being ill or in pain. only she can get sick. not me. I have no rights to be loved, have a baby, have a husband I love, a job, a house of my own, so she can relive her youth and its driving me insane. I don't know why I am being forced to suffer this out. I don't want to live out my diary I wrote 25 years ago. I shouldn't have to wait for my parents to die before I am good enough for a white man to marry me. i am sick of this. my family are killing me. my neighbors are killing me. everyone is killing me by not allowing me my life! a job a husband a house of my own, friends. I am sick of haivng to be last on the list to make everyone else feel better when I am more deserving then them.

i can't think about death, I won't listen to talk about people dead on tv and I just walk away. I ca...

Pride, Hate

I am thinking about dying my hair violet for Halloween - its sort of plum/purple I like it. my hair is long and I'm not getting dressed up for Halloween as such.

I am thinking about dying my hair violet for Halloween - its sort of plum/purple I like it. my hair ...

Pride

i got 4 of these pretty little baskets and going to finish them off with some oasis and filling and they have a mixture of roses, ivy, brown/red foliage seed berry and a a white flower that is either a type of Rajnigandha or Burfordiensis and I am going to put lace bows around them for tablets but they would look great as flower girl baskets and if you put in lots of petals to be thrown down the wedding aisle, and then I got some other ones with pinks - carnations and roses. and I bought some pink table runners. something nice for festive season but they are artificial flowers for these floral decorations. that is my hobbies these days, and I bought some cooking things as well but that is another story.

i got 4 of these pretty little baskets and going to finish them off with some oasis and filling and ...

Pride

no guy is gonna want me I am too old for that now, and its bs that confidence is attractive. people put up slogans of all kinds but you can't live by one alone. I am not on fire for jesus! sorry but as I am getting older and more and more abused I am losing my faith in god. god is not enough for me. sorry but I am just as worthy as all the other women and I am more worthy for the abuse I have been through. I am more worthy then these whores, but that is not even gonna be enough, it never was enough and it never will be enough. its like these churches I always felt you had to prove your faith in catholic or any church. well I have had my own church at home for the last 35 years and you don't believe it go shove it! but I don't have much faith in god anymore.

no guy is gonna want me I am too old for that now, and its bs that confidence is attractive. people ...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

no guy is gonna want me I am too old for that now, and its bs that confidence is attractive. people put up slogans of all kinds but you can't live by one alone. I am not on fire for jesus! sorry but as I am getting older and more and more abused I am losing my faith in god. god is not enough for me. sorry but I am just as worthy as all the other women and I am more worthy for the abuse I have been through. I am more worthy then these whores, but that is not even gonna be enough, it never was enough and it never will be enough. its like these churches I always felt you had to prove your faith in catholic or any church. well I have had my own church at home for the last 35 years and you don't believe it go shove it! but I don't have much faith in god anymore.

no guy is gonna want me I am too old for that now, and its bs that confidence is attractive. people ...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

i hate you anna-maria. you are a b!tch my doctors said for me to stay away from, he told me to cut ties with Emma calling customers smelly bum.

i hate you anna-maria. you are a b!tch my doctors said for me to stay away from, he told me to cut t...

Pride

I gave my old mini to a wreckers when I could have sold it for a few thousand, so don't say I don't give.

I gave my old mini to a wreckers when I could have sold it for a few thousand, so don't say I don't ...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

you don't matter, your dirty royal ass doesn't matter to me I hate all the abuse you did to me. you don't matter to me at all. I hope you all die in hell you created.

you don't matter, your dirty royal ass doesn't matter to me I hate all the abuse you did to me. you ...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

some days I used to think "well if I die today I die, so long as I feed my cats" after the car accident and different times I was sick with heart problems and they always paint things over at the cardiologist as "its all great so why aren't you smiling?" you can't attack and abuse people for decades and give them an anti-depressant to smile when the abuse is always there, no releif from her abuse and so on, I won't expect anyone to love or care for me ever again. I don't want abusive people around me which is why I left those abusive violent churches that talk spew violence in biblical form also. i just don't want to be around idiots playing games anymore. I accept I will never marry or have children. I have wondered if I will have a short life a lot even in my twenties that was on my mind a lot. I knew it was just me, no one was ever gonna care about this ugly dog loser young thin pretty old or fat clever or dumb, I was always ment to be unloved. some people have all the fun and luck while others dont. I hated everything david bowie and his dirties did to me, those choirs. the church idiots, the doctors and dull evil ambulance wankers not even people. my cats shit is better then them.

some days I used to think "well if I die today I die, so long as I feed my cats" after the car accid...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

revenge is bs. I never knew why louise was out to revenge me. I did nothing wrong to her. the girl was spoilt and selfish and nuts. her and bugsy were narcissistic freaks. if they stopped going through diaries and butting in where they are not welcome that would help a lot. all my relatives have no concept of boundaries, that is why I want nothing to do with them and mum and dad feel the same way, they don't want to know my brother and I don't want to know them. I don't want anything from any of my relatives. my family is the immediate family in the house that is it. we too old to change. we don't want to mix with any of them ever again. I just don't want to see cousins and people who left me behind. they are behind me for a reason.! they mean nothing to me or mum or dad. my parents have no feelings for my brother and his kids at all. I told aaron don't call me or talk to me again. and that is how it has to be. my older sister has been abusing me violently everytime she gets married or divorced and she takes everything anyone does out on me since the day I was born. I don't have to forgive or love. I don't love my older sister anymore and she has abused me, dad and mum too much. she takes everything out on us and my doctors support me on this.

revenge is bs. I never knew why louise was out to revenge me. I did nothing wrong to her. the girl w...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

please provide cleaner public toilets everywhere. some of them are a smell hole, yesterday while in the city I walked passed one steps from a tunnel and it smelt like a urinal from the night before. they should be sanitizers for free on toilets before we sit on them as well.

please provide cleaner public toilets everywhere. some of them are a smell hole, yesterday while in ...

Pride

i have huge ginger tigerlily plants and other things like lilly pillies and pineapple guava tree and I want to grow a heap of blackberries but I am concern about the climate but I would love a front hedge of them. I tried to grow cumquats and raspberries and they died on me which was sad because I grew rosellas well, and made jam with them, my blue moon rose is graphed and is red now. so I want to get another one. and I want some more delbards they are my faves and the statis is pretty. palms and lots of aloe vera and herbs. climbing roses and I love my teddy bear cottage rose the poor thing is so small. I want to get more of them.

i have huge ginger tigerlily plants and other things like lilly pillies and pineapple guava tree an...

Pride

I have lavender and geraniums and Elysium and gerbras, aluminium plants and I want some violets i think the aluminium are a type of violet variety, I have a magnolia and gravillia and vegetables and a jacaranda tree honeysuckle and a heaps more. I put in petunias and salvias and blue cornflowers and lobelia purple flowers and marigolds and snap dragons and succulents. i want to make a fairy garden with some little characters not just the gnomes but we have a small asian theme mini japanese bridge that would look good with some glow pebbles. my gardening is really a poor attempt compared to others but I would like to have the patients to grow carnations, so many of the old fashioned flowers are not being grown now. I would like some heather and I think cultivated weed flowers are great really. I love those ornimental kale and silver cineraria and lambs ear. I just let the trees, herbs and vegitables grow where they come up.

I have lavender and geraniums and Elysium and gerbras, aluminium plants and I want some violets i t...

Pride

today I felt offended. I went to buy and very beautiful orchid and the cashier was making out it was not healthy and I should have stuck with "I will take it anyway" she made it sound like it was a difficult task and its not at all to cut the old roots off, I think she just wanted it for herself or repot it and sell it at a dearer price, some orchids will droop depending on the breed and I am sure she diddled me, we put a ticket in the raffle and the lady said "well I hope you win the raffle then" we go to all these flower exhibitions taking photos and I love the smell and I could take photos a lot and interview the society people and how they judge it, it all seems so scientific and like "clever clever". then I thought of a childrens books activity and stories around flowers we have photographed. and thought it would be good to interview the winners plants and talk about their work in floral art and plant cultivation and prize judging! I talked to a guy today who was explaining to me how they cross pollenate to get her varieties and colors. that is my sort of interest not joyce and frngie bi/gay swingers clubs. I wouldn't want to be in sexual rubbish and I didn't put my name to anything I did with rick and katy or joyce or anita. cuz I just don't need the bs of it all. I am past all that. so anyway we did by a hanging orchid and moss and we bought another one a while back and I want to get more confidence growing them I would love a whole conversatory of them and nocturnal flowers that glow in the dark and radiate vibrant strings of delight, already we have a peach tree, frangipani will flower soon, 2 types of jasmin, camelias (I want to learn how to wax them), also azalahas and these japanese look yesterday,today, tomorrow and bromiliads and ciads agapathas and staghorns and clivia, bird of paradise and alamanda and flowering may and hibscus and geishas and roses delbards and david austins and herbs and lavander and this thing that has a sweet honey strong aroma at night so it does smell very frangrant during august, sept, october. but I did like this white orchid. so i was hurt. the fragrance of the big ones was lovely and I like the hanging ones a lot.

today I felt offended. I went to buy and very beautiful orchid and the cashier was making out it was...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

I don't like the advertising on the railways lately, its not nice and it has a mean arrogance to it. its spiteful really I notice this in a lot of adverts. like I can't stand laughing women and kids I just feel they are satanic and laughing at you. then there is the cheeky ones with kids poking tongues at those quick id photo labs in shops I find these offensive deeply as if the child is being vulgar to people and it literally makes me want to cry or do it back. like one day a child did that to me so I gave him the old elbow up fist "meaning up your ass with this fist" kind of thing and was his mother offended that I would up and do that to her rude child. I did it right infront of my mum as well and she said well, the little brat is all of 3 being nasty like all my life I have had kids and people being nasty to me, its rare for me to meet someone who is nice anymore because children have become so childish now. and it was a rare thing for me to be allowed to be childlike let alone childish. and I have feelings too. so when people at college in 2004 were calling me ugly and abusing me I told them off and didn't go back it was their unprofessional behavior that drove me away from them. my sister was saying all her friends and husbands said I was ugly. and I thought well know what people think your ugly. the way you treat people is ugly. your games are ugly. its like these royals and pop stars who are abusive. that is not nice, its just plain ugly. what ricky and william did to me was just plain evil ugly. its unforgiveable. like all my relatives. I don't have any cousins and relatives then ones at home here. I don't care for them because they didn't do the right thing by me. like the churches. they all wronged me. so now I can be like "oh mum she/he wronged me! she/he wronged me mum!" bla bla bla that little crapper went on with his lies so I do it back to people. royals don't want to like me even when i was nice well they can stuff off and pop stars. they are the worse liars. lucky I don't have to be around those sorts of people anymore. i wasn't put on this earth to be abused by rich spoilt royals with their abusive games!

I don't like the advertising on the railways lately, its not nice and it has a mean arrogance to it....

Pride, Abuse, Hate

I don't like liars and sexual preditory women who are like valentina, they are evil, dirty over sexed, beastial, vulgar, hypocrites and bed hop whoring does not make you some puritan later. I don't believe this woman is of good spirit and I believe her to be evil and deceptive and rude, arrogant, spiteful and nasty I never liked her. liars never change from being liars. a leapard never changes its spots.

I don't like liars and sexual preditory women who are like valentina, they are evil, dirty over sexe...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

I don't have a brother or sister !

Pride, Abuse, Hate

I ain't ya sister! I have no siblings!

Pride, Abuse, Hate

my mother was used to having her clothing custom privately made for her as a career woman in govt management and she did a fashion design course and made her own clothing as well one was a red dress in 1940s design with a bow in the empire waist and a little bolero she made it her self and she made some of my clothes and my sisters graduation satin dress and she taught me to make clothing but I have forgotten a lot. I used to have confidence at sewing on the old 1970s singer sewing machine but I have no confidence at the new one we bought a few years ago. mum can draw up draft patterns from scratch she is very good at calculating that but we occasionally had a few laughs at our mistakes as well.

my mother was used to having her clothing custom privately made for her as a career woman in govt ma...

Pride, Abuse, Hate