Confessions about 'Pride'

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sales are all that matters to sally, not people she will make out she cares for a sale and she does do hard sell bullying I seen her bully and seduce people into the lies of the company my therapist said success in it is not possible at all. so why would he say that and say you didn't ask to be bullied and abused by her you wanted to join the company for yourself not to be attacked and abused. so just enjoy the products and stay away from sally and the people at the top are bullying you starters at the bottom cuz they benefit more then you do ! and the golden era of that business is gone he said. and I know chris would say the same. commisson jobs are not worth the train or petrol fare when I felt down about saying no to a part time commission job at night. chris said to me. you have to be realistic and its not worth it. and you would just be bullied.

sales are all that matters to sally, not people she will make out she cares for a sale and she does ...

Pride, Abuse

rape and child sexual abuse by adults touching little childrens genitals are never justified. I wish I knew why valentino and bugsy did this curse evil satanic thing to me. I am sure they are the ones behind it all. who plotted it. that is how evil sick they were. I hate all my relatives. I can't stand the thought of them. I just don't want to know them and nor does my mother and father cuz of how they made fun of them and abused my parents, my parents understand why I never want to see them again. there are some things you can never forgive, and their abuse in the last 10-8 years has been the final blow. you have to make stand and believe in me.

rape and child sexual abuse by adults touching little childrens genitals are never justified. I wis...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

i have never known real love and safety and how it feels to be liked by everyone. I used to get food thrown at me by boys and they would think it was funny to throw a pickle sandwich so it would slop all over my face as a child of 5, and call me ugly with red hair and a lot of people and some goons actually stalked me with knives and in a car calling me a ugly slug germ and heaps of people thought is was funny when I was attacked and raped by a ugly fat biker married and creepy and the opposite of everything I wanted. they would tail gate me in cars and it was road rage a gang of young guys looking to attack me. and they were all revolting thugs.

i have never known real love and safety and how it feels to be liked by everyone. I used to get food...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

I am getting so angry I could murder someone. I never have enough money for my health needs, my cats health needs, bills and live in squaller and I deserve better then everything people have done to me. I know it, they know it. a therapist today told me I deserve better and keep fighting!

I am getting so angry I could murder someone. I never have enough money for my health needs, my cats...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

why don't white men want to marry? they only like thin tall models who look beautiful and come from rich homes who are well educated and whose families can advance their careers and personal ambitions and bank accounts and connections, they want to be envied, men think you should be grateful if they are married if they want to rape you and they are boring and uncivil rude and lack personal character. black men take too many liberties and all I have wanted was a white husband with some charm and class and when I was thin - he should have looked the mirror of me and the man who used me did not look the mirror of me. and I don't want to look the mirror of him or the majority of the men I met who were weird. men should learn to communicate better and I only ever liked the young single tall handsome men anyway not moneyed men.

why don't white men want to marry? they only like thin tall models who look beautiful and come from ...

Pride

I am going to ask my mum to come in the surgery room with me when I have this done. only cuz I want to know what and where they are cutting- they are my genitals. I don't want to give my private parts to perranas and I have had enough of dumb things that have near killed me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJNR2EpS0jw

I am going to ask my mum to come in the surgery room with me when I have this done. only cuz I want ...

Pride, Abuse, Hate, Violence

I have a diary of all my appointments and events but after the news a few weeks ago about more skin cancer I just lost all focus on what was going on around me. forgot appointments and I go to see a skin cancer doctor a lot and I knew something was wrong for a long time. the gyno said the vaginal itch is definately not in my imagination. its embarasing and I just feel more persecuted and abused really. I did enough vaginal cutting on my self as self punishment as a child for the sexual abuse- this is just adding to the hurt and feelings of always being punished that somehow it was all my fault- but a therapist today told me its normal to go through this upset and fear. I have to do what ever treatment I can to heal and get better. I hate neddles I am scared of having to go through vaginal reconstructive surgery due to skin cancer and abnormal cells that showed up and I am just praying that it won't be so bad as all that or have to go that far. - what did I ever do to deserve all this? as a child of 4? what little girl of 4 looks for this abuse and neglect and harshness because I never did. I don't understand why I have never been really loved how I wanted to be loved. I wanted children and marriage so badly. I was just afraid to make a move fear of being attacked and bashed. I long to have a normal healthy sex life and love life, a love of my own! I don't understand what god does this to children? its making me question my faith and not that I could turn to satanism, I never could, even I used to laugh at some of those comedy things and other times I would cry because they actually werent funny for the real victims of it.

I have a diary of all my appointments and events but after the news a few weeks ago about more skin ...

Pride, Abuse, Violence, Sex

I am not confident about growing azaleas and camellias but I like them in the japanese gardens at the botanical gardens and I am going to do my best- I bought this one called vale beauty japonica and it was the only one of its kind there so I am really excited to learn how to do flower waxing when this plant flowers next year, and it just has to live. its a pretty white/blush pink edge double flower and I think it is very pretty. I worship it!

I am not confident about growing azaleas and camellias but I like them in the japanese gardens at t...

Pride

I want to know when I am getting married, dunk this being fricking single bullshit. I need a life!

Pride

I miss going to jack for a massage cuz he was so great but I really like fon she is great at guasha, and I really like her treatments. she is so good. she just relaxes me so much. I really like fon she is a nice girl and good at body salt scrubs and massage when I have migraine and sinus and nueralgia pain.

I miss going to jack for a massage cuz he was so great but I really like fon she is great at guasha,...

Pride

I need help with my accounting assignment, my nutrition assignment and my risk assessment assignment, and some help with my sewing assessment. I even need help with networking IT and design and programming. I wish I could find a place quiet to study and to be honest I am sick of teaching myself and really want a teacher. I want to learn and need a teachers help. is it too much to ask for a teacher to teach and help? sit with me and go through my work bit by bit to assist my learning process. I can't do all of it completely alone. be fair!

I need help with my accounting assignment, my nutrition assignment and my risk assessment assignment...

Pride

I bought these nice boots in navy and burgundy that look so vintage. they go with skirts or pants and I have these long silk skirts to match! I have hats and wedding accessories for my portfolio. I want to buy a really nice wedding veil. like 3 tier long viels I want to buy. but I also have a few bird cage ones.

I bought these nice boots in navy and burgundy that look so vintage. they go with skirts or pants an...

Pride

I want some coleus and statice and agapanthus as well. I loved the ikebana it was so nice. we took a lot of photos. in my floristry course I added a heap of things to ikebana as a subject to give it more depth and appreciation as an art. some people get paid a bucket load for that in hotels and corporate places to display their works and business cards for advertising. I would love to learn more of it and practal if I had the time with colleges and university - I have an assignment to do soon and a lot of reading to do and I will be a qualified tafe teacher then like my dad.

I want some coleus and statice and agapanthus as well. I loved the ikebana it was so nice. we took a...

Pride

I bought an orchid and I have delbard roses and I love the garden a lot. and enjoying the flower shows so much. I wish they would have a herb show there as well and violets and hibiscus and lilly and bulbs, I have some jonquils I love the smell of them and my mum bought some queens tears and now we have a lot of stag horns coming up and my garden means a lot to me. my cat is there and being sick I struggle to bend or worry about germs, and I want to get someone to help me with painting furniture a hobby I have had to give up for a while with allergies. I just wish some nice person would just frecking well help me.

I bought an orchid and I have delbard roses and I love the garden a lot. and enjoying the flower sho...

Pride

I put in my new azaleas and camellia and wisteria shrubs, I really want them to grow. I got some snapdragons, orange marigolds, amaranthus and cordiles, some shallots, radish, basil, cherry tomatoes, dill and coriander put them all in and I want to get some lavender, sage, nasturisium, germanians. we go to all the flower shows and take so many photos - I think mum has found her niche flower photography.

I put in my new azaleas and camellia and wisteria shrubs, I really want them to grow. I got some sna...

Pride

wang said "don't worry about your illness, it will get better" being the expert on everything that he is- ?? - I said sure well I think I will find another doctor then, thankfully not all asians have your attitude. don't worry about having a clean house. don't worry about all the stuff like clothes and junk you buy piling up all around you so much you can't move in the house. I leave the house to avoid looking at the junk. all I need is a roof somewhere far away from the cold night air- oh wouldn't it be lovely! to have a nice clean house and a husband and someone to care about me, and give me a lot of me and love time! break even time, holiday time, over time pay packet, social time, I can't wait to meet so many people I am so sad and lonely, I want to meet so many people and shake their hand and I went to aged homes and held crying old mens hands and went away sad at night alone crying for them, and the disability people. fuck me life is a bucket of shit. when I am sick I can only really think of myself. my needs for once- my surviving cancer and desperate to have a baby- can men sense my desperateness to be free of a nutter like ken and find a husband and go on some cruises and holidays and meet fun new people. I want to meet lots of people and be liked. would that offend anyone? I want sex and love. I want a man to protect me and love me. I want a clean house and all my clothes and shoes and hats and bags and things in order, I want a big kitchen -I am sick of a pokey little peebox of a kitchen. I want a big garden and space to have fun outside without neighbors gwarking.

wang said "don't worry about your illness, it will get better" being the expert on everything that h...

Pride, Abuse, Sex

i really need to stop farting so much. I farted in the shops when no one was around and made it sound like I was moving something.

i really need to stop farting so much. I farted in the shops when no one was around and made it soun...

Pride

i need so much help I don't know where to begin ? or who to ask?

Pride

well excuse me for saying I need a husband and someone get off your ass! and help me already. this has dragged on for too long! get off your ass and help me instead of attacking me with your shit! cuz I only report you!

well excuse me for saying I need a husband and someone get off your ass! and help me already. this h...

Pride

I bought this very expensive aspect dr specialised products and I have to say the vit c serum burns my skin and the cheaper skin oil I buy at a discount drug store is way better on my skin more soothing and I just used some organic coconut oil. why is shit so dear and they rave about the products when to be honest its the service of the facial massage facial treatments you want more. uggh! get it right !

I bought this very expensive aspect dr specialised products and I have to say the vit c serum burns ...

Pride