Confessions about 'Pride'

Page 38 of 73

i am a winner cuz i saved my money and didn't lose any on a bet at the races.

Pride

today all I am doing is studying and I am tired from it.

Pride

l am sick of people with all this daddy/daughter and mommy/son incest rubbish, its Freudian social taboo left over from childhood, the soap operas ran with story lines it for years and it was considered soft porn, only shadey sadie could stoop so low. she writes constant rubbish, I would have thought that witch was publicly executed ages ago she is so witchy annoying. that is what they do over their as a sign of affection for god sake.

l am sick of people with all this daddy/daughter and mommy/son incest rubbish, its Freudian social t...

Pride, Hate

the master of the rolls no such thing as an innocent bigamist.

Pride

my argument is if I am so healthy and this is all in my mind, then how come we have this distress everytime I have to have blood tests with collapsing veins and I cry when they say we can't get any blood out? why? I have to lay down and I choose the more experienced blood takers and I won't have new vacum tubes at all they are too harsh on my veins. I can handle injections and local anasethic and surgery over blood tests I can handle I just got sick and tired of ambulance people jabbing me with canulas and blood sugar tests and heart monitors, and dam doctors. I have a lump at the moment I can feel I want to talk to the doctor about, sometimes I have had lumps come up under the arm pits in the lympth area and this one is in anoter area and feels like that needle that went in last surgery. I hate the whole thing. why am I bothering to even study rubbish I will never use anyway?

my argument is if I am so healthy and this is all in my mind, then how come we have this distress ev...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

fuckk off churches. you have let me down too many times and I am more saintly then all of you. I know this to be true. and this crap about jesus sucking up to the prostitutes is all bullshit. yeh he just made a slave of her to wash his bloody feet and never did a thing else so what does that mean? he was a user like everyone and did he pay her for the job? he didn't betrove himself to her. I am sick of being treated less and like some whore prostitute druggy is more important then me and my illnesses I didn't make the car accident happen but someone else who does witchcraft did!

fuckk off churches. you have let me down too many times and I am more saintly then all of you. I kno...

Pride, Hate

like I met that black dude who is a doctor from the bachelor and I was so sick I didn't care. he came to my house as a locum house doctor and I mean I was too sick to care who it was another night they couldn't wake me due to the heavy sedation of medications from the neurological problem with the infection and mum and the dr just decided to let me sleep but he checked my medications and spoke to my mum about my condition and I didn't even know. I just remember crawling around the floor at midnight near choking from the medications and I was thought i was patting the cat and it was a cushion and I know someone must have came in and moved my note book because I kept a log book for all the months i was sick writing all the medications and how I felt and how much fluid I drank etc.

like I met that black dude who is a doctor from the bachelor and I was so sick I didn't care. he cam...

Pride, Hate

some professionals and work people and in social groups have a professional blind conception about policy of integrity of staff and workplace. there is no point someone saying lies like "oh this is the best place to work in" "this is the best company etc or dept" when everyone from top down is off the beat. its lies, its not going to make it so just because you pretend its great. then you try to make others look bad or liars and then it all falls back at the person who was making out it was so great when it all falls down and is not working great just because one person said it is great when its not. be truthful don't live the lie or nothing gets improved. one day you will be on your ass and learn it the hard way. like i have heard so many bad reports from good people about our local hospital and all i can say is its cleaner and newer but not that nice but then no hospital is, and all this loser drug addict can do is rave on about how good the staff are and yet one of my poshy friends who was a classy lady and was well associated in our city she was treated badly there and so was I and others and my friend had way more class and money and she was blonde and beautiful as well . how come some deadbeat loser bum druggy whore dirtbag can say "oh they are so nice and great in there" like was she just trying to piss me off or hurt me or make out they prefer her type over me and my friend who have more class and are not drug addicts. just because one deadbeat loser druggy prostitute says its great doesn't make it so! a loser with other losers and yeh i find that offensive to abuse obvious classy women and help a loser deadbeat creepy whore. don't subject me to that dog karma again. or i will call police. I hate karma anyway, she is an annoying slut.

some professionals and work people and in social groups have a professional blind conception about p...

Pride, Hate

I am not going to any melborne day cup events tomorrow I was very hurt by last year when my friends just dumbed me in another room with no friends to talk to so we talked to the head event manager instead.

I am not going to any melborne day cup events tomorrow I was very hurt by last year when my friends ...

Pride

i was a rare time for me to go out nightclubbing about all of less then a dozen times in all my 44 years of life I have been in a nightclub less then a dozen times because I don't like drinking much, I don't like smoking and when I do go out at night I prefer to go to nice places and get a good night sleep, i often go through emotional upset when I am bashed and i lose the guy because the bitch with the power get them and i hurts but sometimes i go study or i just turn off emotions and just its easier to just say "well some of us are just not ment to be loved, but i have justice on my side?" or i left a job due to sexual harasment after being so fat and losing weight and i just didn't need someone destroying what little confidence i had about myself or body. and those people know they killed me, they just like being that way. and i have to learn to avoid them and if that means avoid men too so i do. i would rather have my pride and i always need to be right more then i need to be loved! - i mean the dream police and brehon judges in me, i can't change who i am .

i was a rare time for me to go out nightclubbing about all of less then a dozen times in all my 44 y...

Pride

I spent a lot of time feeling guilt about being a surviver of child sexual abuse who had gained a lot at university and that was like a painful depression started breaking me down as if I had no right to be successful or loved as a victim or survivor of illness or child sexual trauma so I felt I had to punish myself and I met all the wrong people who messed me up just because of this guilt that my life should be worse like all the drug addicts and smokers and alcoholics and so on, just because I had none of those addiction issues as if I was apologising for some how having a survival mechanism in me of how I personally coped with the abuse, my illnesses and then my studying began to suffer I would get way out vomitting episodes to the point now I hate vomiting I will do anything not to vomit. and the fear I had come over me with iv in me and the things this patient was saying I could hear what he was saying was upsetting me. I have had my ups and downs and I am sick of people bullying me. believe me i have bloody well had my downs way too many of them.

I spent a lot of time feeling guilt about being a surviver of child sexual abuse who had gained a lo...

Pride, Hate

you see this is how it happened. I some how must have left a note somewhere around the nazi ww2 and criminologist and png witchdoctor who knew all the medicine men aboriginal drugs we mixed wtih- told the witchdoctor when I was a child that I was in love with someone - don't ever do this ! ever!!!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYgOlqinH7A https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bESGLojNYSo

you see this is how it happened. I some how must have left a note somewhere around the nazi ww2 and ...

Pride, Hate

go blow it out your ass dirty ugly old queen bitch ! fck off everyone is suck of your shit and abuse.

go blow it out your ass dirty ugly old queen bitch ! fck off everyone is suck of your shit and abuse...

Pride, Hate

die katy die! die katy dog die! your trouble to every woman you meet. you cover up so much with lies til the lies are too big to hold you up and then it all falls down around you over cock! its always over dick and cock with your type. how could any man love something like you. you are evil. you kill to win selfishly. you should see what trouble you caused your victims so should joyce. it would serve them well to see the trauma they have caused and left behind them to get to the top selfishly and they still won't be happy at the top, because nothing pleases these women who sex violence, all you will get is crap from joyce I seen her fighting it out with kitty sadie and all this bullshit tittie fight rubbish she goes on with, the woman is a looney battering young virgins like what she did to me. so jealous but it is still murder what she did. joyce has a dirty secret past of murder i think you might find murdering for sex. that is how she met her first useless husband and who protects this stupid spastic woman? and the born troublemaking whore she is. everywhere she goes she causes trouble she can't help herself like katy robo dog. she tortured my father and caused him serious health problems and mental problems, I have tortured by doctors doing abusive games on me as well. I don't understand their game but I know it doesn't make me love them more for their abuse. it turns me against them.

die katy die! die katy dog die! your trouble to every woman you meet. you cover up so much with lies...

Pride, Hate

I really feel I had to write to you kristine about this one. I was always yoyo weight and got to a size 14-16 when I was at university and my life was falling down around me and I had tried jenny craig and could not stand the food, I carried the weight for a while and all the men were ignoring me for my older sister who always got men easily. she has been married 3 times while I am 45 never been married. I don't know when the first time I felt "this is why I am fat" but when I was about 8 my dad said to me when my older sister was putting on a tantrum- "give her what she wants to shut her up" and this became a pattern all our lives. now this girl has not been happy til I am slammed and killed into the ground she hates me so much and has been saying that to me for the last 11 or more years after each marriage and new "fuck victory" she find (pardon the french but that is all it is to her)... I think I as the middle child was shy and been sexually abused by an old drunk man who lived near by made me feel worthless that day when my dad said that to me - that I had to keep giving this older sister, this girl who never grew up what she wanted while I felt helpless defeated and a fatty joke. I did so much for her- look after her baby, prop her up for each husband, put make up on her for parties and nighclubbing while literally no one noticed I had a need or feeling. no one cared what the hell I did how hurt and lonely I was, so long as this other girl was smiling and happy and getting people to love her and getting them to hate me. i couldn't do enough to try to win her love. even last when I lost weight I felt bad and went to a size 6 from 16 I stayed away from her, then I started gaining the weight the more I was rejected by men and the more she was getting married and her man I was not allowed to meet, last year I exercised every night sometimes for 3 hours a day and I take antidepresants that doctors say don't make you gain weight I don't agree, I don't over indulge a lot only sometimes when I get into cake as a treat once a month or a few cheese and crackers, instead of fruit. but last year when I got dress up with my mum to go to a high tea my mum sent my sister a photo of us together and my sister proudly said when I came home "I sent it to my husband allan in the Filipponines and he said you are a ugly fat cow" I started watching porn films of women mooing in cow shit and thinking I was a cow. I met a woman who said to me i had to bark like a dog before any many would love me. and I started barking like a dog in my room on the bed. like I had to live it out at some level. as a child I even cut my genitals because I blamed that part of my body for that dirty old man touching me there. recently I had to have byopsies done in the vaginal area from a vaginal itch and after rape I had a stroke and feared stds so much but nothing ever showed in pathology results. I have put on weight and now a size 18-20 this year from last years size 16 and yeh I made a pact to lose weight but I feel I need motivation and help more then ever, since I was in and out of hospital and I had several re-occuring middle ear infections since a car accident I am truey greatful to be alive and I watch a lot of videos from loeylane and other girls about positive body love, but I get no real help at church or from friends or family. I asked my mum "why does my older sister need to say all these hurtful things to me and abuse me and would someone please have the balls to ask this girl- when are you going to allow your sister to marry and feel like a lady? and have a baby? "mum, how broken do I have to be to make this girl feel good about herself, keep giving her what she wants, all the men wanting her over me, her having the babies and weddings every other year? when will someone stand up to this girl and say "enough is enough" I want to tell her that myself but she just screams at me. it needs to come from someone she least would suspects n admires n male. so when am I going to stop allowing my sister to keep me fat? is my question maybe? That is SO wrong of her. You are not worthless, you are not a cow, a dog, a pig, anything like that. I am so sorry you are going through this. I would love to stand up to her for you to be honest. Would you be open to a 3 way zoom call where you can confront her with a third party? how much more broken do I have to be for you to be a happy loved women rose, joyce, katy robo-dog and kelly etc?

I really feel I had to write to you kristine about this one. I was always yoyo weight and got to a s...

Pride, Hate

a IT archieture student female whose mother was a teacher at uq pharmacy actually tried to run me over in her car and she bashed me. she was sexual nut case into lesbian acts that I couldn't appreciate. its not about gossip its about the truth. how abusive and voilent this woman was over some idiot loser then she moved on to others as her type do. I knew once I stopped having anything to do with him she would chase the next guy I met and she did. and she is not going to do it anymore. she is crazy. you can't reason with her.

a IT archieture student female whose mother was a teacher at uq pharmacy actually tried to run me ov...

Pride

i have had 2 periods this month plus the stitches in the vagina that bled for about week everytime I moved so i just sat in bed and studied caught up on investments and health fell behind in other stuff, its all over the bloody place

i have had 2 periods this month plus the stitches in the vagina that bled for about week everytime I...

Pride, Hate

the queen has stolen men from me for her family as well and I am getting sick of this abuse. i have got this from a few royal families just because i have some vague royal part blood that means nothing to me, how can it mean much to me now at 45 when i was never told as a child, or young adult. it means little to me its caused me more pain and illness then its helped me. its clear you can see the people in the family who are favored and fussed after and spoilt unlike me.

the queen has stolen men from me for her family as well and I am getting sick of this abuse. i have ...

Pride

i had a dream this morning and I knew I was dreaming and then I wanted to make a story out of the dream while I was dreaming, I felt the characters and it was something to do with being a car with some shadey people and I was a police officer undercover and I had to go to a location that was under a building construction and found some thing like money or gold or stolen goods and I had to stay calm and then I was sort of waking up and then I was thinking 'now if this was a story how can I end it and make it into a story' stupid the things my brain tries to do in dreams. lol....

i had a dream this morning and I knew I was dreaming and then I wanted to make a story out of the dr...

Pride

I didn't want to go to the shitty places I went to, I wanted a boyfriend who was maybe a law student or lawyer or something to date me, take me out to fancy dining and drive me out places and buy me nice jewelry and go nice places during the day like scenic drives and other events and nice hotel rooms. not the bullshit I got. the uncivil shitbag nightclubs and loud music of stupid bands, and silly pathetic attempts at invites by dirty neighbors who stole william on me. hmmm. I mean he couldn't even come up to me and make time for me and treat me like I had something worthwhile to add to talk about child abuse issues I wanted raised. oh no! I wanted to marry and have a baby and study at the same time, all this time wasted. wasted... so you think I am some scum who only deserves a scum like ken carey well, I come from better, my parents expect people to treat me to better then that. ken would never be good enough to me or them.

I didn't want to go to the shitty places I went to, I wanted a boyfriend who was maybe a law student...

Pride, Hate